You began in the world just like the fairy tales…Once upon a time a miracle occurred. The fairy tale then becomes your life. The living becomes the story of who you are, who you become and what you do with your inner self to be happy, joyful and connected. We have a relationship to our past that is shaped by what we have been told about our younger selves and by what we remember (or how we remember it) as those stories become the core sense of self. Often, our parents tell us stories that stick with us and give us a sense of who we were before we can remember our own past. Like seeing an old family photo and not being totally sure if you remember the event or just know the family picture. Each time someone tells a piece of personal history they are seeing it through the lens that has shaped them from these stories. Stories are told to us before we can remember, or speak, and they shape our understanding of our own histories.
The truth is that your past is made up of the stories/experiences from your eyes and thoughts at the time you first heard them and took them in as yours. When you think about your first memory, what does it tell you about your personality? Were you outgoing, shy, scared, excited, creative or do you see a child that is full of sorrow or hope? As you look at this child in your first memory can you see that young person clearly as you? What do you learn from that child and how can that information help you now? What kindness can you impart to your young person inside you? Will the young person listen? Asking these questions with a trusted someone by your side who guides you in safety allows a bottled up story to unfold.
Our family stories are like snowballs. This is an analogy that helps me see individual happenings in life as unique occurrences frozen in time, like the core of that snowball. Our bodies may age but our stories are embedded in time. Melting the snowball to the core of that one moment, and reviewing it with adult eyes, kindness and empathy, can allow the story to be seen in a new way. The frozen nature of our past will then melt our hearts by holding these stories, caring for them, listening to that young person within who wants support, compassion and love.
While we explore how you became who you are we can then look at who you want to become and imagine endless possibilities. Your joy, goals and loves can be truly experienced in the moment.
